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Dr Grimes Clinic Hours
Mon, Tues, Thurs 9-5 Clinic days
Fri- select appointments

Wed- Nursing Home and select appointment

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902-701-4455
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902-701-4466

 

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Entries in QHHT (2)

Saturday
Mar052016

Where is your expectation today? Or Where did all these Miatas come from?

We often see what we are looking for, in fact, I would say that it is very hard to NOT see what you are looking for, it is what I call the Mazda Miata effect.  I rarely saw Miata’s on the road when I did not own one, but the minute I purchased one, they seemed to pop up all over the landscape.  It is not like Mazda suddenly imported a glut of Miata’s to fill the landscape, they were always there, I just did not see them. 

Where we look is what we see.  What we expect is what we see, the things we see are the things we are looking for and the places we search. 

If you look for trouble, then you will find what you are looking for almost every time.  If you look for things to turn out badly, then things will turn out badly almost every time.  If you expect things to be difficult, then things will be difficult most all the time.  It is your expectation that colors your experience.  You are looking for Miatas and they are everywhere.  

I have had some wonderful opportunities to see what changing my expectation does for the way that i feel about a situation.  The best one I have had was in my work at the O’Leary Health Center when I switched from working for the government (salaried doctor) to a payment model where I was paid for each patient seen (fee for service).  In essence I went for working for someone to working for myself (any discussion about the toughness of the boss is really another post all together).  This switch happened on a weekend.  On Friday I was Salaried and on Monday I was Fee for Service.  Nothing else changed.  I was in the same office, with the same nurses and support staff, used the same examination rooms, saw the same patients and my schedule was the same as it had been for the previous year.  The only thing that ‘changed’ was how I was being paid and for ‘whom’ I was working.  Yet my attitude and point of view changed profoundly.  Suddenly it was no big deal to work someone in to my schedule.  I looked forward to work, and the work I was doing.  I felt like a weight had lifted of my shoulders.  I felt like my future was laid out ahead of me and it looked wonderful.  This was what I felt during lunch on that first day, and all I had done that day was work a usual Monday morning.  The thing that had changed was my point of view, my expectation, the way that I felt about the situation.  The fundamental reality of the day was no different, my point of view was different. 

This was the first of many understandings I have come to about the profound impact that our point of view has on how we feel about everything.  “Reality as we know it” is not the truth, the world around us has no meaning until we give it meaning.  The rain or snow has no meaning until we observe it and give it a meaning.  It might mean we stay in and rest, or it might mean a cancelled outing, either way it is just water falling form the sky, the meaning arises from within ourselves, and that meaning is the one thing that we have complete control over in our lives.

There are many ways to change your point of view about the world.  This lovely lady in her TEDx Talk speaks of how her point of view shifted dramatically from her near death experience.  Suddenly she was aware of a much bigger world, aware of the role that her perception of that world had upon her life.  She learned to change the way she looked at her world, her place in it, and the effect that her point of view had upon how the world seemed to present itself to her.  You can achieve this same thing without having to face near death to bring it about (and believe me when I tell you, having had a few near death experiences, it hurts far less to figure it out without trying to die first).  For centuries, monastics and other religious folk have used meditation to quiet the mind so that they could see the effect that their perception had on the view of the world. Past Life Regression, Hakomi Psychotherapy, Meditation, Mindfulness, Focus therapy, or just learning to pay attention to your thoughts are all methods of achieving this same heightened view of the world, and our place within that world.  They are all ways to see where we fit in, the effect of our point of view on the world that we see, and provide us with the knowledge to change who we are into who we wish to be. 

When we change the was that we choose to look at the world, then the world changes before our eyes.  Your point of view, the meaning that you give to the world will be the difference between the life that you have and the life that you prefer.  Change your point of view and you change everything.

Wednesday
Sep302015

An Interesting Alternative to Psychotherapy

It is not uncommon for people to learn behaviours during their childhood that do not serve them well as they get older.  The tantrum that got you what you wanted at 2 is not really all that appropriate in the office at 22.  However, not all the behaviours are so easy to see, but they can be just as detrimental to your health and well being.  Let's talk a bit about it from a personal point of view.  

 

I am adopted, and have known this for as long as I can remember.  I have never not know I was adopted.  I have known that my adoptive parents loved me very much and raised me very well (heck I made it through college and medical school, not to mention the USMC).  However, unbeknownst to me there was a fundamental point of view that I was unworthy of love.  It was subtle, it never really made itself known in a regular way, i.e. I never remember telling myself I was unworthy of love, but it was there nonetheless.   It lead to many inappropriate points of view in my life.  It subtly undermined my self confidence, it made me feel like I needed to work much harder to prove that I was worthy, i caused me to question every relationship feeling that I did not deserve love or kindness.  Again, it was not something obvious to me, it was simply the way I lived my life.  Also, I did not feel terrible, I felt like my life was really good, and I thought that things were clicking along nicely.

 

In the summer of 2015 I attended a Brian Weiss intensive at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck New York.  Dr Weiss is a psychiatrist by training, but he has not practiced as such for some time due to the arrival in his life of a very interesting patient.  This patient changed his point of view on life 180 degrees, and made him question most of his beliefs and values.  In short, she changed the course of his life.  She did this by introducing him to the idea of re-incarnation and past lives (for more details see http://www.brianweiss.com/).  During the intensive training course, during meditation/group regression, I was able to see that moment when my birth mother handed me over to the nurse.  I could see the heartbreak in her eyes, and I knew in that moment that she had given me up for adoption not because she did not want me, but because it was the most selfless thing that she could do for my life.  She wanted to keep me, but she knew that adoptions was the best option for my future.  In that understanding, I suddenly saw all of my life differently.  Forty-nine years of feeling unworthy suddenly vanished and my entire view of the world and my life were changed.  Suddenly I knew I was loved from the start, and knew that I was wanted from the start, not by just my adoptive parents, but by my birth mother as well.  

 

Understanding promotes change.  Since that insight, my life has changed dramatically.  I suddenly do not want to eat like I did, I find it easy to wake up and meditate and do yoga.  I am no longer struggling to exercise on a daily basis.  My anger and my temper are both much slower to arrive and much cooler when they do show themselves, and I am much more understanding, forgiving and compassionate with myself and with others.  I would not have thought that such change could be possible with such a simple insight, but is has been tremendous.  

 

So, I have embarked on a new phase of my life, and have added a new viewpoint to my medical arsenal for the care of patients in my clinic.  I have incorporated the ideas that Dr Weiss has written about into the treatment modalities that I think about when I see people with problems that seem too big for Western Medicine.  I have taken additional training with the school established by Dolores Cannon (http://www.dolorescannon.com/) and I believe that it has a place in the care of the mental health and well being of everyone, and is as valuable to a healthy life as exercise, diet, and meditation.  It is something that I will offer to anyone interested in understanding more about why they act in ways that are not healthy, not in their best interest, and are generally self defeating.  I do this because I am proof of the power of knowing, and the healthy benefits that arise from this knowledge.   If you are inetersted in learning more about this work, see QHHT, or one of Dr Wiess's many good books or any of the works of Dolores Cannon.