Looking out the window, I can see them working their way across the barren flowerbeds. The bright orange of their breast showing me the hope of spring. Today is the first day I have seen robins in the yard. Moving from place to place with their hopping step, pausing to peck and scratch at the surface. They are so puffy with the feathers fluffed up against the cold wind, as if inflated just a little too much. It is a sign of springtime, and today is the first day I have seen them. It reminds me that I should take time to look, and see what is happening in my world, something I forget to do.
I did not need help. I could do it myself. I never asked, and anyone who worked with me for any length of time quickly understood that they did not need to ask either. This was my modus operandi. This was how I unconsciously organized my life, and it was no more in my conscious awareness than the steps needed to ride a bike, or tie my shoes, chew gum while walking, it just happened in the background all day long, completely unknown to me for many, many years.
And there it is a gain, that feeling like something is happening that is somehow just outside my field of vision, just outside of me perception. That little nagging feeling that there is something here that I should notice, give my attention to, but it refuses to come into focus. I might notice a little something in my jaw, a little feeling of tightness, my tell-tale sign that there is something afoot, but what is it.
The short Answer? Because I don't have the time not to.......
I know, it seems crazy, how can I devote time to something like meditation when my life is already crazy busy? I do not have the time to do the things that are already on my plate, and you are telling me to add one more? Where will I possibly find the time to do this? That is just crazy talk. This is just a small sampling of the voices in my head on a regular basis when I first started to meditate. I wanted to sleep just a little longer, lay in bed just a moment more, and honestly, many times the bed won. Yet, at this point in my life, I cannot imagine not meditating at least once a day, and many days I find time to meditate more often.
t is interesting how life can take you by surprise. Just when you feel like you have things figured out, and that you are finally moving forward and understanding yourself, life comes along and drops some stuff in your lap to review.
Wow, I thought I had worked through that stuff…..maybe not…..the fact that it is here means it is important to work on…..what is it asking me to do?!?
We often see what we are looking for, in fact, I would say that it is very hard to NOT see what you are looking for, it is what I call the Mazda Miata effect. I rarely saw Miata’s on the road when I did not own one, but the minute I purchased one, they seemed to pop up all over the landscape. It is not like Mazda suddenly imported a glut of Miata’s to fill the landscape, they were always there, I just did not see them.
It is not uncommon for people to learn behaviours during their childhood that do not serve them well as they get older. The tantrum that got you what you wanted at 2 is not really all that appropriate in the office at 22. However, not all the behaviours are so easy to see, but they can be just as detrimental to your health and well being. Let's talk a bit about it from a personal point of view.