It is not uncommon for people to learn behaviours during their childhood that do not serve them well as they get older. The tantrum that got you what you wanted at 2 is not really all that appropriate in the office at 22. However, not all the behaviours are so easy to see, but they can be just as detrimental to your health and well being. Let's talk a bit about it from a personal point of view.
I am adopted, and have known this for as long as I can remember. I have never not know I was adopted. I have known that my adoptive parents loved me very much and raised me very well (heck I made it through college and medical school, not to mention the USMC). However, unbeknownst to me there was a fundamental point of view that I was unworthy of love. It was subtle, it never really made itself known in a regular way, i.e. I never remember telling myself I was unworthy of love, but it was there nonetheless. It lead to many inappropriate points of view in my life. It subtly undermined my self confidence, it made me feel like I needed to work much harder to prove that I was worthy, i caused me to question every relationship feeling that I did not deserve love or kindness. Again, it was not something obvious to me, it was simply the way I lived my life. Also, I did not feel terrible, I felt like my life was really good, and I thought that things were clicking along nicely.
In the summer of 2015 I attended a Brian Weiss intensive at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck New York. Dr Weiss is a psychiatrist by training, but he has not practiced as such for some time due to the arrival in his life of a very interesting patient. This patient changed his point of view on life 180 degrees, and made him question most of his beliefs and values. In short, she changed the course of his life. She did this by introducing him to the idea of re-incarnation and past lives (for more details see http://www.brianweiss.com/). During the intensive training course, during meditation/group regression, I was able to see that moment when my birth mother handed me over to the nurse. I could see the heartbreak in her eyes, and I knew in that moment that she had given me up for adoption not because she did not want me, but because it was the most selfless thing that she could do for my life. She wanted to keep me, but she knew that adoptions was the best option for my future. In that understanding, I suddenly saw all of my life differently. Forty-nine years of feeling unworthy suddenly vanished and my entire view of the world and my life were changed. Suddenly I knew I was loved from the start, and knew that I was wanted from the start, not by just my adoptive parents, but by my birth mother as well.
Understanding promotes change. Since that insight, my life has changed dramatically. I suddenly do not want to eat like I did, I find it easy to wake up and meditate and do yoga. I am no longer struggling to exercise on a daily basis. My anger and my temper are both much slower to arrive and much cooler when they do show themselves, and I am much more understanding, forgiving and compassionate with myself and with others. I would not have thought that such change could be possible with such a simple insight, but is has been tremendous.
So, I have embarked on a new phase of my life, and have added a new viewpoint to my medical arsenal for the care of patients in my clinic. I have incorporated the ideas that Dr Weiss has written about into the treatment modalities that I think about when I see people with problems that seem too big for Western Medicine. I have taken additional training with the school established by Dolores Cannon (http://www.dolorescannon.com/) and I believe that it has a place in the care of the mental health and well being of everyone, and is as valuable to a healthy life as exercise, diet, and meditation. It is something that I will offer to anyone interested in understanding more about why they act in ways that are not healthy, not in their best interest, and are generally self defeating. I do this because I am proof of the power of knowing, and the healthy benefits that arise from this knowledge. If you are inetersted in learning more about this work, see QHHT, or one of Dr Wiess's many good books or any of the works of Dolores Cannon.